The New Tax of the Future?

Alabama is finally doing something to motivate state workers to get their asses off of the seat... literally.

Alabama has issued a warning letting it's state department workers that they better lose their extra weight, or they are going to be paying an additional $25 (What??).  I mean if critics are calling this the 'fat tax' why the hell aren't they taxing more?  I mean governments and taxes never start anywhere near the $25 mark.

And let's get one thing straight.  Not all obese are charged the $25.  Only those that don't take the free and complimentary screening to see how their body mass, fat index and all those things are faring.

With Alabama having the third or fourth most obese state in all of the US, don't we think it's about time to motivate people to get their act together?  

I say that people should be charged if they aren't making an effort to lose the weight.  Not for having the extra weight.

And on that note, why the hell shouldn't non smokers be charged less.  It's a known fact that smoking causes a crap load of health issues.  Many of which will not afflict the non smoker.  So cut them some slack and reward them for not getting addicted to smoking.  (Although I'm sure the majority are addicted to something in this day and age.)

Enough said.

- The BITCH - 

The most searched on Google...

I found this little tidbit of information intriguing, especially because we are supposed to be getting smarter as a race.

Unfortunately, I fear that as we are given more tools, our brains are being used less.  Why do I ask this?  

Because the number 1 searched item on google, is google itself.  

When did we become so stupid, that we have to google google to find google.  I mean haven't we googled enough to know how to get to google without googling it?  

Enough said.

- The BITCH - 

The BITCH is rubbing off....

And she loves it.  Read it here.  Right at the bottom.  Look for the one signed Kathleen.

Why you ask?  Because people are actually starting to think like human beings, and not run around like chickens with their heads cut off, blindly following the freaks of nature that seem to be chosen to run our country.

When reality TV is the mainstay of American (and Canadian) 's lives, can we really expect us to question the people in charge?  And this young lass has it right.  

Read it and weep.  (Or maybe have some fun and do it yourself.  I'm sure it will make you feel so much better...)

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

"Stop Using Our Song"?

It seems that no one really wants John McCain using their song.  And what does that tell us about this contender to run the American's future?  

And it seems that Madonna has been using McCain's image next to war, starvation and destruction in her Sticky& Sweet tour, as well as just recently Banning Sarah Palin from attending 'her party'.  

Along with Madonna, The Foo Fighters and Jackson Browne have spoken with McCain and his crew about not using their songs.  Although these band's may have their intergrity to think about, McCain has the sponsors with deep pockets and bought the rights to use the songs.  So really - I think that they are out of luck.

On the other side of the coin though - Barack Obama has been asked to stop using 'Soul Man' by it's creator, so no one is safe in this world it seems!

The Verdict?

Whoever wins this election is ultimately going to lose everything in an America that is swirling the toilet bowl drain faster with each day.  Wall street is collapsing, the housing market is already down the drain, hanging on for dear life, and American's are leaving as fast as their money will take them.  That is if they have any left.

America that has been running the world, is soon going to be asked if they can run their own damn country.  So the best of luck to whoever wins, because it's going to be a rocky ride.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

OJ Simpson - Guilty at Last??

Okay, 13 years ago, people were suffering withdrawal after the case finally finished and amazingly OJ Simpson was found Not-Guilty.  The only explanation for this, is very nicely summed up by Good Charlotte, when they state "There's no such thing as 25 - life, as long as you got the money, to pay for Cochrane."

Well I guess OJ wasn't able to afford Cochrane, or anyone who could defend him this time, as he is finally going to jail, for what could be a life sentence.  (Though no one is paying any attention.  Old news right?)

Why might he actually go to jail at 61 year of age?  For robbing two sports memorabilia dealers in Vegas.  At gunpoint.  No, not one person died.

But he's finally going to jail, and it rates for a small little ditty on the local news, and that is it. 

Does anyone else find that this is a little tiresome?  Maybe if he would have seduced the media a bit more, he could have girls falling in love with him all over again, and instead of spending time in prison waiting on appeals, he would be out on the streets again.

Or maybe he should have saved some money for Cochrane.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Coon Cheese - Next to face the Racist beheading block?

Okay, I know that Australia is a wonderful place because it has so few people, and for so long it has been untouched by the monstrosities that have haunted North American countries for years, but I think in one giant leap, Australia is trying to catch up with Big Brother - aka - the USA.  

Coon Cheese has been a part of the Australian food experience for years.  It has never been used in a negative connotation.  On the contrary, Coon Cheese was not named after the slang that originated in America - Not Australia where it was created, and defended for many years.  It was actually named after the creator of a fast and easier creation process for cheese - a gentleman by the name of Edward Coon.

So now judges are ruling that this is a derogatory remark, and it should be changed.  Are they saying that everyone who has a name that may be considered derogatory should have their name changed too?  

And who is going to pay the millions of dollars that it is going to cost to rebrand a company that is no longer allowed to use their own name?  And what will happen when those 'precious' people that can't leave well enough alone can't get their favorite cheese?  Will they finally realize what wankers they really have been, and get a life?

I doubt it.  Pigs will surely fly before then.  That is if someone isn't offended that pigs are actually flying and threatens to sue them for misrepresentation.  

Get a life people.  Stomp on those precious or delicate little feelings that you have and realize that life wouldn't be nearly as interesting without all the little things that annoy you.  Hell, I wouldn't have near as much fun if I didn't have stupid people to pick on every day.

Enough said.

- The BITCH -

People and their pissiness.

Why is it, that when people are doing something that they 'should' be enjoying - they look miserable, and act like complete twits?  

And why must runners look down upon everyone else from their high freaking horse? (You might have a great body, but I still hope you drop dead.)

Cyclists - well they can't bother to ding a bell to let you know they are coming, but then yell at you as they try to run you off the road.

And what about those walkers?  Well if you get a gaggle of bitchy women - on the walking paths, sidewalks or in the shopping centres, will they move?  Oh no.  They have to walk five across and leave you with barely enough room to squeeze between the garbage bin and the railing.

If you have a kid, or kids, don't take your god damn stroller to the shopping centre on December 24th!  (Which by the way isn't one of those small things.  No.  Quite the opposite.  These things are built like tanks now, with enough storage to cart food to feed the army for a week.)

And keep your kids on a leash (yes I said that correctly) and quiet.  The last thing I want to hear is thirty screaming kids when I'm trying to eat an overpriced hamburger on my day off at the shopping centre.

Enough said.

- The BITCH - 

Finger Eleven and other odds and ends.

Well on the day where it seems like America's Patriot Act of 2002 is finally going to be enacted for the first time, I'm not going talk about how crazy it is to start to imprison people for the 'act of attempting to riot in aid of a terrorist act' or something crazy along those lines.

I'm not going to tell American people that they are losing their minds if they let this act pass without a riot of their own - because their own right to free speech is slowly washing down the drain.

I'm not even going to bitch about how Palin, a mayor of a small Alaskan town was chosen to be McCain's running mate (a female of course) when Obama couldn't even choose a female, decided to rip right into Obama and literally rip him a new one (which we all know he needed, as he's been thinking that this is his just because he's black.).  (On another note, what is Obama going to do if he doesn't win?  Sue the Americans for racism?? Just a thought).

No, I'm going to talk about how nice of a change it is to watch Finger Eleven's new video - talking to the walls.  How it was a shock to see the guys standing around in a circle, being filmed by random fans in possession of video cameras, and how the video was made up of that, and not some high paid movie star running around squirting perfume and attempting to seduce every person to buy it. 

(I love Anne Hathaway as well as Kiera Knightly - but hell, it's like watching paint dry in comparison to Charlize Theron's rendition of the new J'adore commercial.  Hell, I even want to buy the stuff after watching a gorgeous Charlize strut down the hall ripping diamonds and gold off her body while walking all over it.)

So what is my verdict today?  Let me make it simple.

Obama = Idiot.  (Complete fuckwit if I could really say what I wanted to.)

Palin = Brilliant female.  (But then McCain got it right...we all know that behind every man is a brilliant female.

Finger Eleven - Underrated and although not spending thousands on their music videos, well worth the time spent to watch them.

Charlize Theron - Oh Mama.... (need I say more?)

Anne Hathaway and Kiera Knightly - Still need to grow up, but hell, when they do...

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Even Oprah is getting it right.

Americans and Canadians are too wishy washy. They never say what they want, then bitch and moan behind closed doors about what they don't get.

Not enough sex. (In the bedroom you moron - we already get more than we need on TV)
No raise at work.
The guy they like doesn't ask them out. (Really, you know he's just going to be an ass anyways, so why do you bother?)

Now oprah.com is getting things right for a change.

Americans and Canadians expect others to read their minds and give them what they want. But other nationalities - Australians for example, are too busy bitching, complaining and getting what they want to spend any time on the poor little North Americans.

So think about what they say, and say what you mean for a god damn change. Stop bitching at me for saying what's on my mind rather than dropping hints because I know damn well you are just jealous that I'm getting what I want while you aren't.

So check out this article, and stop bitching at me for telling you where the bear sh*ts in the bucket.

Enough said.

- The BITCH -

Q & A Period - Homophobic Free Zones??

Well it seems like a reader has a question as to why I am devoting so much of my time to girl band bashing when more political and social issues are at hand.  And while it is a very good question, the BITCH only has one answer.  

Because I want to.  (What issue is more pressing than the feminine being being undermined by self absorbed wenches that want the fame, and don't care what they show or who they screw to do it.)

But seeing as this concerned reader has brought an issue in one of my favorite cities - Sydney, Australia - to the forefront of mind, it's time I addressed it.

These so called homophobic zones that Sydney is imposing are an absolute sham.  What do they really think that pulling a stunt like this is going to do?  Create more understanding and less bashing?  On the contrary, an idiotic move like this is only going to create more anger and animosity between business owners, people and of course the gays.  Yes I will say it.  It's not a derogatory term when it is used correctly.  

What the government will do is ultimately set back the integration of the gay and lesbian communities by segregating them like the Americans did to the Blacks years ago.  

The Verdict?  

An absolute atrocity that should have the actual idiots that are trying to pass these 'homophobic-free' zones from the realm of the imagined to reality should be taken out back and shot.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

Girlicious - yummy, or disgusting?

Trying to be the next PCD (for those of you that are so out of the loop - let's explain.  PCD = Pussy Cat Dolls who broke onto the music scene with their big hit - "Don't cha") Girlicious lacks the actual talent that some other girl bands have.

Their big song - Like Me - is a little too wanna beish.  I mean come on, they start out with a blond chick singing "Look at me, I know I'm fine"?  The PCD sing stuff like that, but at least they are fine.

And their videos aren't cheap affairs where they are singing in a boxing ring, with a big black guy that is trying to dance, and just looks completely wrong.  I mean, can't they find something that is actually new and original?  Their music is cheap ripoffs, their look is sleazy and cheap, and their voices lack anything resembling talent.  

The Verdict?

Avoid at all costs.  Unless you are a teeny bopper wannabe that is aspiring to be a musical hit but have absolutely no musical (or dancing for that matter) talent to speak of.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

Rihanna and Disturbia - Just Disturbed?

The new Rihanna video and song are getting rave reviews, although I gotta ask why.

The song is basic, and filled with a completely auto-tuned voice that may sound cool, although it really shows that Rihanna has no singing talent whatsoever.  Especially if she and her producers have to resort to that type of song.

Now Disturbia itself?  I would say just plain disturbed.  It will fill porn producers heads with new and unusual ideas to include in their next porn video, and will definitely lead to some unique injuries being admitted to the hospital.

Why?  Let's look at this.  Everyone is such a follower these days, they will all be trying to stick their hands through walls, with barbed wire wrapped around them.  Or maybe it will just breed a group of young females who think that making love to a mannequin is cool.  All I can say, is yech.  

Such a pretty girl, hailed as the puerto rican hottie, and now she has digressed to raw sex that promotes nothing but come and rape me.  Can't they come up with something that suits her a little better?  Black fingertips, red hair and blind eyes?  Spider webs over the eyes and barbed wire wrapped around her?  

I just see bad horror movie.

Rihanna, let the horror end.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Crazy Motorcyclists!

Oh my god. I was walking down Spencer Street in Melbourne the other day when I was almost killed by a crazy motorcyclist!

I know that they are impatient. We all are.

I know they have a smaller vehicle that can fit inbetween cars. So do people!

I know they like to aggrevate car drivers. We all have our moments.

What they don't seem to realize is that all their high speed daring antics are:

1. Going to kill themselves. (But not before they take out a few unsuspecting people first!)
2. They make the hatred for motorcycles inbred into every car driver! (Bad for those of us who ride motorcycles in a sane sense.)
3. And finally, they are just a pain in the ass.

If you ride a motorcycle...act like a freaking human being.

And for that motorcyclist that almost killed me the other day...wait until I find you. You'll never ride the same again....

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

Kathcafire - CD Review

Say What You're Thinking?

I say bring it on.   This album is a brilliant combination of New Zealand reggae and island flavor, allowing you to chill out and enjoy!  

Although some people will think it's politically incorrect...there are thoughtful lyrics, beautiful melodies and harmonies, as well as amazing musical talent are at the forefront of this album.

While the laid back beach cultures in both America and Australia have caught on and are allowing this band to have their day, the rest of the world has their head up their asses thinking that there is nothing to it.  

They aren't pop-py.  They aren't going to follow the record companies formula of having their chorus in the first 30 seconds.  (You didn't know this?  Take a listen to some of your favorite songs on the radio and get a clue!) They don't strip in their videos, and they are not a fashion parade or show.  

(thank god - even though in no way shape or form am I religious.  Let's get that straight.)

Let's say they got it right, in the vein of Bob Marley and we should be giving them the credit they deserve.  

So get off your ass and buy the album.  

Yes, Right now.  

Check out their website here to buy.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

When you see a sign that says say no to CRACK...

Pull up your damn pants as Jeff Foxworthy so poetically says.  I can't get over the gals and GUYS that seem to think that we want to see their damn underwear.

Pull up your damn pants or get a pair that don't let your crotch hang down to your knees.  We really don't think you are that damn big.  And girls, we really don't want to see your crotch every time you sit down, or your butt cleavage every time you move.  PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Australian Letter of the Year.

I don't usually repost things, but this one takes the cake. 

Read and enjoy.

Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare Information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years.  It is on my driver's license, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off of the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also...would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely f*cking astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...

SH*T!

I apologize, Mr. Minister.  But I'm really p*ssed off this morning.  Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullsh*t!  You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f*cking address!!  What the hell is going on with your mob?  Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal a*seholes workin' there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture.  Do I look like Bin Laden?  I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes.  I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter.  (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a sh*t whether I plan on visiting a farm within the next 15 days?  If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another f*cking copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day??  Noooo... that'd be too f*cking easy and makes far too much sense.  You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our f*cking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society w*nker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo!  You know the photo...the one where we're not allowed to smile?!... you f*cking morons

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's me?  Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor.  (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances.  I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL...and Lt. General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am; You know...someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F*CKING PAKISTAN!!!....a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government'.  

You are all F*cking idiots.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Is Lady Gaga a Lady or...

Personally, give me a break.  She is so far from a lady it is no question.

Her new song, Just Dance is a cross between a porn video and a home video that Paris Hilton would be proud of.  

Do we really think that we should be promoting 'getting hosed' to our youth, as well as the fact that she 'can't see straight anymore', and 'she can't find her keys'.  The video is a house party where people are waking up after a night of partying with everyone in a compromising position. 

Is this really what our lives have boiled down to?

Maybe we should start giving musicians the idea that we want something a bit better.  Less porn and prostitution and maybe a bit more class?

But then that would be above most people's heads right?

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Obama picks Biden??

First of all - Who the hell is Joe Biden?

Okay, tell me if this is crazy or what.  In American politics, we finally had a first.  We had an african american running to be a presidential candidate.  We also had another first.  A female running to be the presidential candidate.  

What happens?  They tear each other apart while the competition, a good old boy from Texas, McCain runs without contest.

Obama wins over Clinton, and we have our candidate, although against all odds, he does the unthinkable.  He chooses a senator Joe Biden to be his running mate.  

Has he lost his fucking mind?  I mean Hillary Clinton almost stole this campaign out of his hands, and while he claims she will be a great person to have in his senate, he won't run with her?  What BS is this?  

Only in America.

Oh, and as the icing on the cake, McCain is using this unthinkable decision on Obama's part as fodder for his new commercials.  Isn't it great how one stupid decision will completely undermine the first chance that the American's have had for a change in the White House?

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Olympic Uniforms?

Okay, let's look at the facts.  The guys are wearing full suits, while the females, in any sport are wearing next to nothing?  

And can someone please tell me why and how beach volleyball can be considered an olympic sport?

Speed walking?  Olympic sport to be trained for, or should it be thrown out of the olympics for being a plain stupid sport.

And has anyone ever figured out if the Chinese are using underage participants or not.

All in all, can we just be thankful that the olympics and all of the scandals, outrages and gossip is over for another four years?  (Until then, we have hockey, football, NFL, rugby and other sports to keep us occupied.)

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

CD Review: Alice Cooper

Well the original shock rocker is still going strong. After having a few alcohol problems, and a few drug problems (He claims he never got into it, but my source tells me otherwise) he successfully traded one addiction in for another.

No longer drinking - or worse, he now plays golf as a golf maniac. Which I can personally say I am thankful for as his new album is absolutely kick ass. Alice Cooper has gotten back to his roots, bringing Stephen back from the depths of hell where he was left after the 'Welcome to My Nightmare' album to star as a leading pschyopath in his new concoction - 'Along Came a Spider'.

This pschcotic thrill ride begins with a young female announcing that they found his diary. From there, you are taking on a non-stop original hard rock journey through Stephen and Alice's serial killing history until the end, where he is caught, and is still in jail, 28 years later.

A must have for any rocker, and for those that aren't, get off your ass and listen to some amazing musicianship for a change.

The Verdict? A must have for every collection. Everyone needs a scary Halloween album where the singer sings about following you home, or the fact that he doesn't care whether it's a red head, brunette or blond, they are'll the same to him.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

Movie Review - Street Kings

Can I say I love House.  And not just any House, but the grumpy, mean and vindictive Dr. House that Hugh Laurie portrays with no shred of discomfort.  

The funny thing is when you hear him with his regular british accent.  But not so, in his debut movie role.  He reprises his role as Dr. House, without the limp, addiction to prescription drugs and hospital, but he plays the same wise cracking, manipulative man that we have all come to develop a love hate relationship with.  (Some of us love to hate him, and some of us just plain love him.  I mean who else says what they want when they want to without fear of what will happen?)

Keanu Reeves did a smash up job of playing the same role that we have always seen him play - although it was well suited for this part.  

Forest Whitaker plays a bad guy that you can relate to, and of course the other supporting actors (John Corbett even has a small part) play the roles to perfection.

The outcome?  

A crazy thrill ride through the police force.  Complete with dirty cops, death, destruction and mayhem.  

The verdict?

Fucking amazing movie.  If you want to think through a movie - you will.  If you want to see people get shot up with amazing amounts of ammo, you definitely will.  If you want to question those among us who want to be a cop - you will without a doubt.

This movie shows the down and dirty of being a cop.  How stories get manipulated and how the truth isn't always what we hear.

Watch it, shut up and try not to think about the consequences of what you are shown.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Roseanne who?

I gotta say that I do vaguely remember the show Roseanne that used to play as an after dinner comedy apertif.  

But does anyone remember Roseanne?  

A loud mouthed obnoxious twit that everyone loved to hate.  (I think I got that right, but please correct me if I'm wrong.)

Well, she may no longer have her own hit TV show (was it ever a hit?  I'm not sure.) but she is as loud mouthed and obnoxious as ever before.

Right now she's going on about the 'brangelina' phenomena.  And getting calls from every rag mag, and mentions in every online news posting service.  She finally got her 15 minutes of fame.  

Although, why does it have to be because she's bashing someone else? (I'm just pointing out the obvious here, not bashing anyone)

If you want to see an utterly useless blog (where she writes about the fact that she bit her cuticle, it got infected and now she has to get it lanced), check out Roseanne's World.  (It's a hoot, and you'll never have a problem laughing ever again!)

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

The Olympics...

Does anyone else think that China's near 'perfect' performance (according to their medal tally) is looking a little too good to be true? They stumble, they miss dives, they even fall off of beams (who knows.  Do you think I've been paying that much attention?  I have better things to do.  Like watching paint dry.) and still they get the medals.  I think something stinks.

It probably stinks as much as their opening ceremony.  Everyone ooh'd and aah'd over the perfectness of everything, until all the details started leaking out.  A 7 year old not pretty enough to sing for the world.  (But her 9 year old lip syncing partner is now a hot commodity) The fireworks wouldn't have translated well onto the screen.  (So they digitally remastered everything to look perfect)  

Does a person have to wonder what else is fake when it comes to China and these olympics (at the very least?)

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

The brainless wave...

Do you think we might be able to create a whole generation of completely useless individuals? People that can't do arithmatic, read or possibly even write? I'm not talking about those people that just haven't learned. I'm talking about all the people that are literally a waste of skin that want to do nothing but laze around. They sit on welfare. They watch TV all day. And we have to pay for it.

And why is there no outrage about this?

We bitch and complain and force Russia to leave the little country of Georgia because "what they are doing is wrong", yet we allow people to be completely useless?

Maybe all these environmentalists should get out of their fancy electric cars and face the reality that there are more pressing issues than whether we all change over to electric cars (which will never happen) or not.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

Bigger or Smaller?

Why is it that lanes on roads and parking spaces are forever getting smaller, while our vehicles just keep getting bigger?

Who isn't paying attention here?

- The BITCH - 

National Sex Day? What Next...

Well, I guess it had to happen.  Some hap hazard vancouver IT student that has obviously not gotten laid in his short lifespan, has coined August 21, 2008 as National Sex Day.  

He wants people to 'unzip and unwind' on this day.  Can I say - give me a break and get a life? 

Hell, even the Guinness World Records is refusing to get involved from this explicit type of record.

My Advice?  Have sex whenever the hell you want to, where ever the hell you want to (just stay out of my way) and be done with it.  As for making a facebook group that is 'based on the six degrees of separation' - stop using the media to get your 15 minutes of fame. (This is what we affectionately call a Media-Whore)

And my tip for Jonathan Yaniv, the computer science student at Kwantlen Polytechnic University that started this whole thing going?

Get a life, get a girlfriend and get laid.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Working Out? Or Showing Out?

Can anyone tell me why females who work out must wear the tightest, smallest tops that they sell?  And it seems like none of them can afford a decent bra either.  

I assume they must be trying to pick up as they run down the path, large busts bouncing up and down so much I am surprised that some of them don't knock themselves out, but really - must you?

I swear it's damaging to see a sight like that coming towards you!  No wonder you are still single... any guy is going to look at that sight and realize how fast they will be down around your knees.

My advice: Get a good bra (And wear it. or maybe even two if you need it) don't show your full cleavage when running down a pathway with children (It should actually be rated R) and don't wear a top (and pants for that matter) that are three sizes too small. 

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

To Medicate, or not to Medicate?

In this day and age, we all seem to be popping pills whenever the road gets rough.  We take them for our headaches, our muscle aches.  We take them when we get sick, and when we don't get better.  We take them when we can't think straight, or we can't think at all.  

Whenever we feel a twinge that lets us know that we aren't happy or happy, we bundle everyone into the car and head off to the doctors to see what they can do to fix us.

What's wrong with this?  Maybe the fact that we are slowly - or maybe not so slowly killing ourselves!  We wonder why our doctors don't take time with us, or really listen to what we are saying before writing that prescription. 

Think about this : "With 3,480 pages of fine print, the physicians' desk reference (aka PDR) is not a quick read.  That's because it contains every piece of information on more than 4,000 prescription medications."

How do we expect our doctors to know all this?  Maybe we need to learn how to live without popping pills again.

One last thought: Have we really increased our life expectancy?  Do you see the average person living to 90?  The truth of the matter is that we are saving more people that would have died earlier in life than say 50 years ago.  That means that they live longer, but you don't necessarily.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -   

Chocolate Advertisements

I have been watching a bit more TV than I ever had now that the warm weather has left and the colder, wetter, drearier weather has come to stay - at least for a little while longer, and it has brought my attention to an alarming fact.

We all know that sex sells, right?

And we all know the time tested saying that chocolate is better than sex, correct?

Then can someone tell me why they are using sex to sell chocolate?

The next time you find yourself sitting on your seat in front of the TV, watch for the chocolate commercials, and see if they are really selling you chocolate, or if they are selling you sex.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

The Jonas Brothers...

Can someone please tell me what the big deal is with these new age Moffats?  They sing corny pop songs, they dance to corny music videos, are they really all that great?

- The BITCH - 

CD Review: Madonna's Hard Candy

Ok, let's say it.  She has completely revolutionized music yet again.  She brought dance back, complete with those stupid warmers and body suits.  Now she's at it again, bring lingerie as outerwear back in full force.  

The album? Amazing and work the ackolades it has been receiving.

The persona of Madonna?  Can anyone tell me if they are getting sick and tired of seeing Madonna wearing nothing but her underwear?  I give her credit for being as in shape as she is, although she is no longer leaving anything to the imagination and she has a myriad of wannabes following in her footsteps.  I feel that she is going the way of Kylie.  

Maybe she'll actually start dressing like her age?  My advice?  Put some damn clothes on for a change.

Enough said.

- The BITCH -

Protesting?

Why is it, that pro-life anti-abortionists protest the choice to have an abortion by bombing family planning clinics or abortion clinics?

- The BITCH - 

Wishy Washy Emotions

Is it too much to wonder why we are all so wishy washy?  Why can't we say what we want to say and screw what people that know nothing and mean nothing to us think?  Why are we so caught up in trying to please other people?

Come on.  There has to be someone out there that can actually say what they think and be proud of that fact.  Doesn't there?

- The BITCH - 

Donations Anyone?

A quick note to sound off about this new found joy that companies and groups are having about asking every person and their dog to donate to one cause or another that is causing someone to go without their double double skim milk latte with a vanilla shot and no foam.  

Although I'm being just a little over sarcastic here, does it strike anyone else as a little freaking strange that 30 some odd percent of our population in Canada can't afford to pay their bills?  That roughly 40% of America's population is considered to be under the poverty line?

Why should all these people be running off trying to raise money for all the people dying in Peru or god knows where when people close to home are starving?  Freezing on the streets?  Like in Calgary, where all the crack headed Ontario-ites decided to head out west and now can't find work?  Even though everyone is starving for people?  Can you find a problem with this situation?

So maybe our governments and all the do-gooders that seem to have sprung up over the past five years should start focusing closer to home.  And leave the rest to mother nature for the time being.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

"I Kissed A Girl"

Can someone please let me know what the big deal is with the new hit song by Katy Perry?  I know we all have this 'we don't talk about things like that' unspoken rule, but she even mocks our unspoken rule by saying that 'it's not what good girls do'.  

Why is something that 'good girls don't do' such a fascination to men and females alike?  Why are we able to watch drunk girls do it in a bar for attention, but a good looking girl turns it into a hit song and it turns into a controversial song?  

Come on people.  We have TV shows that are turning into soft porn, and the playboy channel on regular cable channels but a girl that sings about kissing a girl in the heat of a moment is controversial?  What has gotten into us?  We have brought this upon ourselves with our desire for edgier movies that push our sexual and moral boundaries further with each year.  Let's swallow our small remaining moral disgust to this sexual outburst, shouldn't 'brokeback mountain' have raised a little more stir?

Let's realize the fact that a good looking girl is using her sexual appeal to get a hit song, and we are disgusted by the fact that she is singing about something that has crossed almost all of our minds. Why are we not celebrating the fact that she is a brilliant business woman that knows how to manipulate the masses to put more than a few dollars into her pocket.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

A gal to be reckoned with.

I have to tell you all about this amazing author that I stumbled upon through my journeys throughout Australasia.  Linsay Seitz is an author who has decided to take politically correctness and honesty into her own hands with her book, Politically Incorrect and Brutally Honest Reflections.

She talks about religion, love, life and more in an amusing, yet truthful way.

Check out her website here, or her book here.

Butt Cleavage?

I have to admit, that even this grosses me out.  

First of all, we know that fashion is not everyone's forte, and as time progresses, we tend to believe that celebrities are the one and only bible for what to wear, and what to avoid.  Although what tends to happen, are fashion tragedies that leave those of us on the sidelines hiding our eyes and wishing for the good old days.  

Not that I'm wishing for long skirts and high collars, but butt cleavage?

The new term coined for what is no less than a tragedy.  Girls wearing short shorts that are a little too short to cover the butt cheeks.  It's cleavage that shouldn't be seen by innocent bystanders.  

And if these girls, ladies and women believe that it will get them the man of their dreams, who will love and cherish, let me enlighten you.  These men who are looking at the amount of skin that is viewable are only going to look at the next set of butt cleavage that walks by.  

So why not save those of us who have yet to submit to the 'show everything and try to be mysterious later' train of trapping the man of your dreams, from your ugly (it's never as pretty as you think it is) butt cleavage.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

The BITCH Reviews : Mama Mia!

Now although this film would be one that I, the BITCH would have put a miss on, my best friend decided that we had to see it.  Strangely enough, I have to say that it wasn't all that bad.

Although people in the theater would not shut up - why do you come to a movie if you are going to talk all the way through it?  And why the hell do you look at and send text messages in the middle of a god damn movie?

It was I who lucked out with the gaggle of young girls who couldn't keep their cell phones in their pockets.  Other than that, the movie was better than I could have ever expected.  Meryl Streep looked amazing, and played a 50+ female who was living her second childhood, singing, dancing, jumping on beds and running away from men, while the three leading men kept things light and fun.

A well made musical movie that will have you laughing all the way through.  Even more so if you buy the M & M's and play 'hit the person with the cell phone' all the way through the movie.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

What gets noticed

After spending a day on a TV set, for a foreign series that was filmed right here in my home town, I got a first had view of what really gets noticed.

Why did that gal get the speaking role in that TV show you recently saw?  Well let me tell you how it worked on this set I was on.  

The gal that hiked her skirt the highest - so high that you could get a full view of what was underneath, was on a first name basis with the assistant director.  Although what she failed to realize, is he was only talking about taking her away for a day - to do what, I'm sure I can leave your dirty minds to imagine - and used her as a pawn in the filming, so he could paw her all day.

Amazing how these things work isn't it?  

But what females expect.  They flaunt everything for the world to see, then flinch and whimper when guys only use and abuse them for sex.  Get over it.  If you don't have the self esteem to cover up and know that one day, a guy will fall for you for something more than sex, don't come crying to us when you get your heart broken with every guy who takes you as easy because you have your skirt over your head.

On this TV shoot, the funny thing about it was that you could tell who would have been the town whore!

-The BITCH-

The BITCH Reviews : The Dark Knight

Okay, let's be honest. We all thought that Heath Ledger getting the possible nod for an oscar was just an excuse to give a dead actor a chance to win an award.  I mean what the hell would a dead actor do with an oscar right?  Well maybe we should take a look at his actual performance and realize that he just might deserve the damn thing.  Why should we stop trying to decide who should get the award and let the best man or woman win.

Why should he get it when a 'living' actor could get it, and use it to boost their asking price for any of the next Hollywood films?  The fact that his performance was better than everyone elses would have nothing to do with it right?

As for the film, man alive this film rocks.  From the beginning of the film, it took you on a 'get in, buckle up and hold on' ride from the very get-go.  Christian Bale plays his usual tormented character which perfectly suits the Batman franchise, while Heath Ledger plays a pyschopathic killer who wants nothing more than to undo all the good that has been accomplished.  What ensues is a movie filled with moral dilemmas, twists, turns and a few odd explosions for the more squeamish in the audience.  Aaron Eckhart has a strong supporting role that toys with the line that we all walk between good and evil as well, just to thicken the plot a wee bit more.

Overall, it makes you wonder if what Harvey Dent's character says is true.  "You either die the hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villan."

And as for Heath Ledger's apparent drug induced death and what that should do to impact his oscar chances?  Leave the guy alone.  He's dead already and his craft should be respected, if you can't get your noses out of his private life. 

Enough Said.

-The BITCH-

Another take on the B-word...

I found this little gem of an article on the washingtonpost.com and it captures a lot of what needs to be said, and what is already said about that wonderful b-word that we all have a love-hate relationship with.

We love to use it, but hate to be called it.  Maybe if we really look at why we use it on the people we do, we would actually discover that it is more of a compliment than a derogatory comment.

In my case, people tried to shut me down by using the said b-word (I am intentionally not using it now as I know you are waiting for me to) to describe me.  Instead of being offended, appaled or changing my ways, I liked what it could stand for and thanked those people for giving me a new object in life.  

That object?  Annoying the hell out of everyone else that had thought that using such a word would put strong women like myself now.  Now I can honestly say thank you for creating the BITCH that I am today.  (Are you happy now?)

Dazed and Confused

A question I received only a couple of hours ago got me to thinking.  Here is what she said.

Question:  My best friedn of 23 years has recently told me she doesn't want me to be her maid of honor becuase I'm too busy.  There is two weeks to the wedding, and I'm not liking the fact that she doesn't want me ot be her maid of honour anymore.  What do I do?

-Dazed and Confused-

Well, let me see.  Your best friend doesn't want you to be her maid of honor.  First of all, it doesn't matter when she made the decision.  Get over it.  You aren't her best friend any more, this is just her way of telling you.  Get a clue.

Second, tell her where she can stick it.  Why do you want to tag along on her special day when she hasn't thought that you are special enough anymore?  She won't kick you out of the wedding party, because then she would have to find someone else, and she will look like a bitch in front of all of her family and friends.  If you decide to go through with it, it will be a miserable affair that will leave you bitter and resentful.

Tell her you aren't interested and be done with it.

-The BITCH-

The BITCH on Facebook...

Well it seems that I have joined the masses on Facebook.  You can find me here.  And it's easier for you to bitch and complain at me there.... 

-The BITCH

Let's Set The Record Straight

Okay, it seems like some of you out there don't know why I am the bitch that I am.  I've gotten the question over and over again and I'm going to set the record straight once and for all.  Are you all listening?

Why am I so bitchy?  Well if you had to answer questions like this all day, I think you would be to.  I am sick and tired of putting up with the shallow end of the gene pool, and how everyone thinks we need to save them.  Really, if they want to put the plastic bag over their head, tie it, and breath, why don't we let them.  Enough said.

Next, why should you listen to me?  Because you know you are going to.  I'm the little devil that tells you everything that you don't want to hear, but is the god damn truth.  (and now I'm sure that someone is going to yell bloody murder for me taking the god's name in vein.)  Really, if you don't know why you are listening to me, or reading this, then stop.  And if you sent a question, didn't like the answer and are now bitching at me for telling you how the world really works, get a life.  Got it?

- The BITCH.

The Bitch Is Back.

Well many of you have met me before.  

I'm the person who walks down the middle of the sidewalk and makes you all move.

I'm the one who laughs when you trip on your shoe laces, and doesn't try to hide it.

I'm the gal who answers your boyfriends questions about you, and makes him realize he deserves so much more.

I'm the one you love to hate, because I can say this, and you can't.

Any questions?  Let me know.