Girlicious - yummy, or disgusting?

Trying to be the next PCD (for those of you that are so out of the loop - let's explain.  PCD = Pussy Cat Dolls who broke onto the music scene with their big hit - "Don't cha") Girlicious lacks the actual talent that some other girl bands have.

Their big song - Like Me - is a little too wanna beish.  I mean come on, they start out with a blond chick singing "Look at me, I know I'm fine"?  The PCD sing stuff like that, but at least they are fine.

And their videos aren't cheap affairs where they are singing in a boxing ring, with a big black guy that is trying to dance, and just looks completely wrong.  I mean, can't they find something that is actually new and original?  Their music is cheap ripoffs, their look is sleazy and cheap, and their voices lack anything resembling talent.  

The Verdict?

Avoid at all costs.  Unless you are a teeny bopper wannabe that is aspiring to be a musical hit but have absolutely no musical (or dancing for that matter) talent to speak of.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

Rihanna and Disturbia - Just Disturbed?

The new Rihanna video and song are getting rave reviews, although I gotta ask why.

The song is basic, and filled with a completely auto-tuned voice that may sound cool, although it really shows that Rihanna has no singing talent whatsoever.  Especially if she and her producers have to resort to that type of song.

Now Disturbia itself?  I would say just plain disturbed.  It will fill porn producers heads with new and unusual ideas to include in their next porn video, and will definitely lead to some unique injuries being admitted to the hospital.

Why?  Let's look at this.  Everyone is such a follower these days, they will all be trying to stick their hands through walls, with barbed wire wrapped around them.  Or maybe it will just breed a group of young females who think that making love to a mannequin is cool.  All I can say, is yech.  

Such a pretty girl, hailed as the puerto rican hottie, and now she has digressed to raw sex that promotes nothing but come and rape me.  Can't they come up with something that suits her a little better?  Black fingertips, red hair and blind eyes?  Spider webs over the eyes and barbed wire wrapped around her?  

I just see bad horror movie.

Rihanna, let the horror end.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Crazy Motorcyclists!

Oh my god. I was walking down Spencer Street in Melbourne the other day when I was almost killed by a crazy motorcyclist!

I know that they are impatient. We all are.

I know they have a smaller vehicle that can fit inbetween cars. So do people!

I know they like to aggrevate car drivers. We all have our moments.

What they don't seem to realize is that all their high speed daring antics are:

1. Going to kill themselves. (But not before they take out a few unsuspecting people first!)
2. They make the hatred for motorcycles inbred into every car driver! (Bad for those of us who ride motorcycles in a sane sense.)
3. And finally, they are just a pain in the ass.

If you ride a motorcycle...act like a freaking human being.

And for that motorcyclist that almost killed me the other day...wait until I find you. You'll never ride the same again....

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

Kathcafire - CD Review

Say What You're Thinking?

I say bring it on.   This album is a brilliant combination of New Zealand reggae and island flavor, allowing you to chill out and enjoy!  

Although some people will think it's politically incorrect...there are thoughtful lyrics, beautiful melodies and harmonies, as well as amazing musical talent are at the forefront of this album.

While the laid back beach cultures in both America and Australia have caught on and are allowing this band to have their day, the rest of the world has their head up their asses thinking that there is nothing to it.  

They aren't pop-py.  They aren't going to follow the record companies formula of having their chorus in the first 30 seconds.  (You didn't know this?  Take a listen to some of your favorite songs on the radio and get a clue!) They don't strip in their videos, and they are not a fashion parade or show.  

(thank god - even though in no way shape or form am I religious.  Let's get that straight.)

Let's say they got it right, in the vein of Bob Marley and we should be giving them the credit they deserve.  

So get off your ass and buy the album.  

Yes, Right now.  

Check out their website here to buy.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

When you see a sign that says say no to CRACK...

Pull up your damn pants as Jeff Foxworthy so poetically says.  I can't get over the gals and GUYS that seem to think that we want to see their damn underwear.

Pull up your damn pants or get a pair that don't let your crotch hang down to your knees.  We really don't think you are that damn big.  And girls, we really don't want to see your crotch every time you sit down, or your butt cleavage every time you move.  PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Australian Letter of the Year.

I don't usually repost things, but this one takes the cake. 

Read and enjoy.

Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare Information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years.  It is on my driver's license, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off of the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also...would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely f*cking astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...

SH*T!

I apologize, Mr. Minister.  But I'm really p*ssed off this morning.  Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullsh*t!  You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f*cking address!!  What the hell is going on with your mob?  Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal a*seholes workin' there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture.  Do I look like Bin Laden?  I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes.  I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter.  (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a sh*t whether I plan on visiting a farm within the next 15 days?  If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another f*cking copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day??  Noooo... that'd be too f*cking easy and makes far too much sense.  You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our f*cking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society w*nker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo!  You know the photo...the one where we're not allowed to smile?!... you f*cking morons

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's me?  Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor.  (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances.  I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL...and Lt. General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am; You know...someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F*CKING PAKISTAN!!!....a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government'.  

You are all F*cking idiots.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Is Lady Gaga a Lady or...

Personally, give me a break.  She is so far from a lady it is no question.

Her new song, Just Dance is a cross between a porn video and a home video that Paris Hilton would be proud of.  

Do we really think that we should be promoting 'getting hosed' to our youth, as well as the fact that she 'can't see straight anymore', and 'she can't find her keys'.  The video is a house party where people are waking up after a night of partying with everyone in a compromising position. 

Is this really what our lives have boiled down to?

Maybe we should start giving musicians the idea that we want something a bit better.  Less porn and prostitution and maybe a bit more class?

But then that would be above most people's heads right?

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Obama picks Biden??

First of all - Who the hell is Joe Biden?

Okay, tell me if this is crazy or what.  In American politics, we finally had a first.  We had an african american running to be a presidential candidate.  We also had another first.  A female running to be the presidential candidate.  

What happens?  They tear each other apart while the competition, a good old boy from Texas, McCain runs without contest.

Obama wins over Clinton, and we have our candidate, although against all odds, he does the unthinkable.  He chooses a senator Joe Biden to be his running mate.  

Has he lost his fucking mind?  I mean Hillary Clinton almost stole this campaign out of his hands, and while he claims she will be a great person to have in his senate, he won't run with her?  What BS is this?  

Only in America.

Oh, and as the icing on the cake, McCain is using this unthinkable decision on Obama's part as fodder for his new commercials.  Isn't it great how one stupid decision will completely undermine the first chance that the American's have had for a change in the White House?

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Olympic Uniforms?

Okay, let's look at the facts.  The guys are wearing full suits, while the females, in any sport are wearing next to nothing?  

And can someone please tell me why and how beach volleyball can be considered an olympic sport?

Speed walking?  Olympic sport to be trained for, or should it be thrown out of the olympics for being a plain stupid sport.

And has anyone ever figured out if the Chinese are using underage participants or not.

All in all, can we just be thankful that the olympics and all of the scandals, outrages and gossip is over for another four years?  (Until then, we have hockey, football, NFL, rugby and other sports to keep us occupied.)

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

CD Review: Alice Cooper

Well the original shock rocker is still going strong. After having a few alcohol problems, and a few drug problems (He claims he never got into it, but my source tells me otherwise) he successfully traded one addiction in for another.

No longer drinking - or worse, he now plays golf as a golf maniac. Which I can personally say I am thankful for as his new album is absolutely kick ass. Alice Cooper has gotten back to his roots, bringing Stephen back from the depths of hell where he was left after the 'Welcome to My Nightmare' album to star as a leading pschyopath in his new concoction - 'Along Came a Spider'.

This pschcotic thrill ride begins with a young female announcing that they found his diary. From there, you are taking on a non-stop original hard rock journey through Stephen and Alice's serial killing history until the end, where he is caught, and is still in jail, 28 years later.

A must have for any rocker, and for those that aren't, get off your ass and listen to some amazing musicianship for a change.

The Verdict? A must have for every collection. Everyone needs a scary Halloween album where the singer sings about following you home, or the fact that he doesn't care whether it's a red head, brunette or blond, they are'll the same to him.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

Movie Review - Street Kings

Can I say I love House.  And not just any House, but the grumpy, mean and vindictive Dr. House that Hugh Laurie portrays with no shred of discomfort.  

The funny thing is when you hear him with his regular british accent.  But not so, in his debut movie role.  He reprises his role as Dr. House, without the limp, addiction to prescription drugs and hospital, but he plays the same wise cracking, manipulative man that we have all come to develop a love hate relationship with.  (Some of us love to hate him, and some of us just plain love him.  I mean who else says what they want when they want to without fear of what will happen?)

Keanu Reeves did a smash up job of playing the same role that we have always seen him play - although it was well suited for this part.  

Forest Whitaker plays a bad guy that you can relate to, and of course the other supporting actors (John Corbett even has a small part) play the roles to perfection.

The outcome?  

A crazy thrill ride through the police force.  Complete with dirty cops, death, destruction and mayhem.  

The verdict?

Fucking amazing movie.  If you want to think through a movie - you will.  If you want to see people get shot up with amazing amounts of ammo, you definitely will.  If you want to question those among us who want to be a cop - you will without a doubt.

This movie shows the down and dirty of being a cop.  How stories get manipulated and how the truth isn't always what we hear.

Watch it, shut up and try not to think about the consequences of what you are shown.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Roseanne who?

I gotta say that I do vaguely remember the show Roseanne that used to play as an after dinner comedy apertif.  

But does anyone remember Roseanne?  

A loud mouthed obnoxious twit that everyone loved to hate.  (I think I got that right, but please correct me if I'm wrong.)

Well, she may no longer have her own hit TV show (was it ever a hit?  I'm not sure.) but she is as loud mouthed and obnoxious as ever before.

Right now she's going on about the 'brangelina' phenomena.  And getting calls from every rag mag, and mentions in every online news posting service.  She finally got her 15 minutes of fame.  

Although, why does it have to be because she's bashing someone else? (I'm just pointing out the obvious here, not bashing anyone)

If you want to see an utterly useless blog (where she writes about the fact that she bit her cuticle, it got infected and now she has to get it lanced), check out Roseanne's World.  (It's a hoot, and you'll never have a problem laughing ever again!)

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

The Olympics...

Does anyone else think that China's near 'perfect' performance (according to their medal tally) is looking a little too good to be true? They stumble, they miss dives, they even fall off of beams (who knows.  Do you think I've been paying that much attention?  I have better things to do.  Like watching paint dry.) and still they get the medals.  I think something stinks.

It probably stinks as much as their opening ceremony.  Everyone ooh'd and aah'd over the perfectness of everything, until all the details started leaking out.  A 7 year old not pretty enough to sing for the world.  (But her 9 year old lip syncing partner is now a hot commodity) The fireworks wouldn't have translated well onto the screen.  (So they digitally remastered everything to look perfect)  

Does a person have to wonder what else is fake when it comes to China and these olympics (at the very least?)

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

The brainless wave...

Do you think we might be able to create a whole generation of completely useless individuals? People that can't do arithmatic, read or possibly even write? I'm not talking about those people that just haven't learned. I'm talking about all the people that are literally a waste of skin that want to do nothing but laze around. They sit on welfare. They watch TV all day. And we have to pay for it.

And why is there no outrage about this?

We bitch and complain and force Russia to leave the little country of Georgia because "what they are doing is wrong", yet we allow people to be completely useless?

Maybe all these environmentalists should get out of their fancy electric cars and face the reality that there are more pressing issues than whether we all change over to electric cars (which will never happen) or not.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

Bigger or Smaller?

Why is it that lanes on roads and parking spaces are forever getting smaller, while our vehicles just keep getting bigger?

Who isn't paying attention here?

- The BITCH - 

National Sex Day? What Next...

Well, I guess it had to happen.  Some hap hazard vancouver IT student that has obviously not gotten laid in his short lifespan, has coined August 21, 2008 as National Sex Day.  

He wants people to 'unzip and unwind' on this day.  Can I say - give me a break and get a life? 

Hell, even the Guinness World Records is refusing to get involved from this explicit type of record.

My Advice?  Have sex whenever the hell you want to, where ever the hell you want to (just stay out of my way) and be done with it.  As for making a facebook group that is 'based on the six degrees of separation' - stop using the media to get your 15 minutes of fame. (This is what we affectionately call a Media-Whore)

And my tip for Jonathan Yaniv, the computer science student at Kwantlen Polytechnic University that started this whole thing going?

Get a life, get a girlfriend and get laid.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

Working Out? Or Showing Out?

Can anyone tell me why females who work out must wear the tightest, smallest tops that they sell?  And it seems like none of them can afford a decent bra either.  

I assume they must be trying to pick up as they run down the path, large busts bouncing up and down so much I am surprised that some of them don't knock themselves out, but really - must you?

I swear it's damaging to see a sight like that coming towards you!  No wonder you are still single... any guy is going to look at that sight and realize how fast they will be down around your knees.

My advice: Get a good bra (And wear it. or maybe even two if you need it) don't show your full cleavage when running down a pathway with children (It should actually be rated R) and don't wear a top (and pants for that matter) that are three sizes too small. 

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

To Medicate, or not to Medicate?

In this day and age, we all seem to be popping pills whenever the road gets rough.  We take them for our headaches, our muscle aches.  We take them when we get sick, and when we don't get better.  We take them when we can't think straight, or we can't think at all.  

Whenever we feel a twinge that lets us know that we aren't happy or happy, we bundle everyone into the car and head off to the doctors to see what they can do to fix us.

What's wrong with this?  Maybe the fact that we are slowly - or maybe not so slowly killing ourselves!  We wonder why our doctors don't take time with us, or really listen to what we are saying before writing that prescription. 

Think about this : "With 3,480 pages of fine print, the physicians' desk reference (aka PDR) is not a quick read.  That's because it contains every piece of information on more than 4,000 prescription medications."

How do we expect our doctors to know all this?  Maybe we need to learn how to live without popping pills again.

One last thought: Have we really increased our life expectancy?  Do you see the average person living to 90?  The truth of the matter is that we are saving more people that would have died earlier in life than say 50 years ago.  That means that they live longer, but you don't necessarily.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -   

Chocolate Advertisements

I have been watching a bit more TV than I ever had now that the warm weather has left and the colder, wetter, drearier weather has come to stay - at least for a little while longer, and it has brought my attention to an alarming fact.

We all know that sex sells, right?

And we all know the time tested saying that chocolate is better than sex, correct?

Then can someone tell me why they are using sex to sell chocolate?

The next time you find yourself sitting on your seat in front of the TV, watch for the chocolate commercials, and see if they are really selling you chocolate, or if they are selling you sex.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

The Jonas Brothers...

Can someone please tell me what the big deal is with these new age Moffats?  They sing corny pop songs, they dance to corny music videos, are they really all that great?

- The BITCH - 

CD Review: Madonna's Hard Candy

Ok, let's say it.  She has completely revolutionized music yet again.  She brought dance back, complete with those stupid warmers and body suits.  Now she's at it again, bring lingerie as outerwear back in full force.  

The album? Amazing and work the ackolades it has been receiving.

The persona of Madonna?  Can anyone tell me if they are getting sick and tired of seeing Madonna wearing nothing but her underwear?  I give her credit for being as in shape as she is, although she is no longer leaving anything to the imagination and she has a myriad of wannabes following in her footsteps.  I feel that she is going the way of Kylie.  

Maybe she'll actually start dressing like her age?  My advice?  Put some damn clothes on for a change.

Enough said.

- The BITCH -

Protesting?

Why is it, that pro-life anti-abortionists protest the choice to have an abortion by bombing family planning clinics or abortion clinics?

- The BITCH - 

Wishy Washy Emotions

Is it too much to wonder why we are all so wishy washy?  Why can't we say what we want to say and screw what people that know nothing and mean nothing to us think?  Why are we so caught up in trying to please other people?

Come on.  There has to be someone out there that can actually say what they think and be proud of that fact.  Doesn't there?

- The BITCH - 

Donations Anyone?

A quick note to sound off about this new found joy that companies and groups are having about asking every person and their dog to donate to one cause or another that is causing someone to go without their double double skim milk latte with a vanilla shot and no foam.  

Although I'm being just a little over sarcastic here, does it strike anyone else as a little freaking strange that 30 some odd percent of our population in Canada can't afford to pay their bills?  That roughly 40% of America's population is considered to be under the poverty line?

Why should all these people be running off trying to raise money for all the people dying in Peru or god knows where when people close to home are starving?  Freezing on the streets?  Like in Calgary, where all the crack headed Ontario-ites decided to head out west and now can't find work?  Even though everyone is starving for people?  Can you find a problem with this situation?

So maybe our governments and all the do-gooders that seem to have sprung up over the past five years should start focusing closer to home.  And leave the rest to mother nature for the time being.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

"I Kissed A Girl"

Can someone please let me know what the big deal is with the new hit song by Katy Perry?  I know we all have this 'we don't talk about things like that' unspoken rule, but she even mocks our unspoken rule by saying that 'it's not what good girls do'.  

Why is something that 'good girls don't do' such a fascination to men and females alike?  Why are we able to watch drunk girls do it in a bar for attention, but a good looking girl turns it into a hit song and it turns into a controversial song?  

Come on people.  We have TV shows that are turning into soft porn, and the playboy channel on regular cable channels but a girl that sings about kissing a girl in the heat of a moment is controversial?  What has gotten into us?  We have brought this upon ourselves with our desire for edgier movies that push our sexual and moral boundaries further with each year.  Let's swallow our small remaining moral disgust to this sexual outburst, shouldn't 'brokeback mountain' have raised a little more stir?

Let's realize the fact that a good looking girl is using her sexual appeal to get a hit song, and we are disgusted by the fact that she is singing about something that has crossed almost all of our minds. Why are we not celebrating the fact that she is a brilliant business woman that knows how to manipulate the masses to put more than a few dollars into her pocket.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH - 

A gal to be reckoned with.

I have to tell you all about this amazing author that I stumbled upon through my journeys throughout Australasia.  Linsay Seitz is an author who has decided to take politically correctness and honesty into her own hands with her book, Politically Incorrect and Brutally Honest Reflections.

She talks about religion, love, life and more in an amusing, yet truthful way.

Check out her website here, or her book here.

Butt Cleavage?

I have to admit, that even this grosses me out.  

First of all, we know that fashion is not everyone's forte, and as time progresses, we tend to believe that celebrities are the one and only bible for what to wear, and what to avoid.  Although what tends to happen, are fashion tragedies that leave those of us on the sidelines hiding our eyes and wishing for the good old days.  

Not that I'm wishing for long skirts and high collars, but butt cleavage?

The new term coined for what is no less than a tragedy.  Girls wearing short shorts that are a little too short to cover the butt cheeks.  It's cleavage that shouldn't be seen by innocent bystanders.  

And if these girls, ladies and women believe that it will get them the man of their dreams, who will love and cherish, let me enlighten you.  These men who are looking at the amount of skin that is viewable are only going to look at the next set of butt cleavage that walks by.  

So why not save those of us who have yet to submit to the 'show everything and try to be mysterious later' train of trapping the man of your dreams, from your ugly (it's never as pretty as you think it is) butt cleavage.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -