Coon Cheese - Next to face the Racist beheading block?

Okay, I know that Australia is a wonderful place because it has so few people, and for so long it has been untouched by the monstrosities that have haunted North American countries for years, but I think in one giant leap, Australia is trying to catch up with Big Brother - aka - the USA.  

Coon Cheese has been a part of the Australian food experience for years.  It has never been used in a negative connotation.  On the contrary, Coon Cheese was not named after the slang that originated in America - Not Australia where it was created, and defended for many years.  It was actually named after the creator of a fast and easier creation process for cheese - a gentleman by the name of Edward Coon.

So now judges are ruling that this is a derogatory remark, and it should be changed.  Are they saying that everyone who has a name that may be considered derogatory should have their name changed too?  

And who is going to pay the millions of dollars that it is going to cost to rebrand a company that is no longer allowed to use their own name?  And what will happen when those 'precious' people that can't leave well enough alone can't get their favorite cheese?  Will they finally realize what wankers they really have been, and get a life?

I doubt it.  Pigs will surely fly before then.  That is if someone isn't offended that pigs are actually flying and threatens to sue them for misrepresentation.  

Get a life people.  Stomp on those precious or delicate little feelings that you have and realize that life wouldn't be nearly as interesting without all the little things that annoy you.  Hell, I wouldn't have near as much fun if I didn't have stupid people to pick on every day.

Enough said.

- The BITCH -

Q & A Period - Homophobic Free Zones??

Well it seems like a reader has a question as to why I am devoting so much of my time to girl band bashing when more political and social issues are at hand.  And while it is a very good question, the BITCH only has one answer.  

Because I want to.  (What issue is more pressing than the feminine being being undermined by self absorbed wenches that want the fame, and don't care what they show or who they screw to do it.)

But seeing as this concerned reader has brought an issue in one of my favorite cities - Sydney, Australia - to the forefront of mind, it's time I addressed it.

These so called homophobic zones that Sydney is imposing are an absolute sham.  What do they really think that pulling a stunt like this is going to do?  Create more understanding and less bashing?  On the contrary, an idiotic move like this is only going to create more anger and animosity between business owners, people and of course the gays.  Yes I will say it.  It's not a derogatory term when it is used correctly.  

What the government will do is ultimately set back the integration of the gay and lesbian communities by segregating them like the Americans did to the Blacks years ago.  

The Verdict?  

An absolute atrocity that should have the actual idiots that are trying to pass these 'homophobic-free' zones from the realm of the imagined to reality should be taken out back and shot.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -

Australian Letter of the Year.

I don't usually repost things, but this one takes the cake. 

Read and enjoy.

Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare Information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years.  It is on my driver's license, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off of the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also...would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely f*cking astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...

SH*T!

I apologize, Mr. Minister.  But I'm really p*ssed off this morning.  Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullsh*t!  You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f*cking address!!  What the hell is going on with your mob?  Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal a*seholes workin' there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture.  Do I look like Bin Laden?  I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes.  I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter.  (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a sh*t whether I plan on visiting a farm within the next 15 days?  If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another f*cking copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day??  Noooo... that'd be too f*cking easy and makes far too much sense.  You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our f*cking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society w*nker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo!  You know the photo...the one where we're not allowed to smile?!... you f*cking morons

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's me?  Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor.  (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances.  I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL...and Lt. General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am; You know...someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F*CKING PAKISTAN!!!....a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government'.  

You are all F*cking idiots.

Enough Said.

- The BITCH -